Excerpt 64

1975

Stuck in Pleasure

Men and women are different and ought to be. Successful romance depends on this polarity. Life is much more pleasant when this is accepted. I so enjoy playing with men…teasing, exciting, disarming, confusing, titillating…

(Of course, when I’m older, I’ll become a fierce feminist and will dislike most men because of their cavalier treatment of women.)

I adamantly refuse to accept Thoreau’s description of life—and my mother’s—as “quiet desperation.”

I love the sensation of a man coming inside me; I feel like Mother Earth.

Howard Lowenstein called today. We met at a party, but I didn’t give him my number. He tracked me down by asking someone else where I worked.

Darwin always wins; the man is the hunter.

Excerpt 63

In search of understanding:

From Walker Percy’s phenomenal novel,  “The Moviegoer.”

 1961.

I agree.

###

“I will also plead guilty to another charge.

We’re better because we do not shirk our obligations to ourselves or to others. We do not whine. We do not organize a minority group and blackmail the government. We do not prize mediocrity for mediocrity’s sake. Oh, I am aware that we hear a great many flattering things nowadays about your great common man—you know, it has always been revealing to me that he is perfectly content so to be called, because that is exactly what he is: the common man and when I say common I mean common as hell. Our civilization has obtained a distinction of sorts. It will be remembered not for its technology nor even its wars but for its novel ethos. Ours is the only civilization in history which has enshrined mediocrity as its national ideal. Others have been corrupt, but leave it to us to invent the most undistinguished of corruptions.

No, we’re sentimental people and we horrify easily. True, our moral fiber is rotten. Our national character stinks to high heaven. But we are kinder than ever. No prostitute ever responded with a quicker spasm of sentiment when our hearts are touched. Nor is there anything new about thievery, lewdness, lying, adultery. What is new is that in our time liars and thieves and whores and adulterers wish also to be congratulated and are congratulated by the great public, if their confession is sufficiently psychological or strikes a sufficiently heartfelt and authentic note of sincerity.”