Excerpt 45

Have something in common with Alexis de Tocqueville:    Finding pleasure in the company of very few people.

He wrote:

“My contemporaries and I go by more and more divergent ways— sometimes such opposite ways that we can hardly ever now meet with like feeling and

thoughts…my mind has neither family nor motherland and such spiritual and moral isolation often gives me a sense of excruciating loneliness.”

I’m just like the South that I came from…always seem to be on the wrong side of history.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve been fortunate enough to meet women of all ages who experienced traumatic abandonment during childhood. They have come from Nepal and Sicily, Vietnam and China, Mississippi and Arkansas, New York and Maine. Our emotions are the same.

We are all so similar: fiercely independent, exceptionally responsible, sophisticated about money matters, always well-organized, and unusually private. We seek order out of chaos. A strong sense of self-mastery is longed for, above all else…all in a determined and deeply heartfelt effort to feel safe.

“… wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good.”

Gabriel García Márquez (Love in the Time of Cholera)


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